The In-Between

The term "in-between" came to us as a fitting title for this post when we realized that this blog space, though visited on occasion (hopefully, a growing occasion), by applying seniors, some parents and a few others (a list which may or may not include most of the admissions staff), will soon be visited by juniors just starting their process.  It's the witching hour, the time when two classes overlap and both are immersed in a process that, at first, can seem daunting. Still, considerations for both classes, although at bookends of the process, are pretty similar when it comes down to the details.

The "in-between" could be a term applied here for the waiting time for seniors, starting after applications are submitted and lasting until decisions are released, marked by fighting the desire for immediate gratification.  It is a time best used to consider all possible outcomes and hopefully realize that all the colleges on a final list would be great options, should there be admit letters on the horizon.  For juniors, the "in-between" is less about patiently waiting for colleges to respond and more about giving oneself the space to embark on a process, without knowing all of the twists and turns in advance. In the case of juniors, one could advocate for savoring the "in-between" and even enjoying it!

At a recent college night, admissions officers pondered aloud about the sixteen months ahead for juniors and their families (yes, it really is about 16 months!).  There is much to learn in this process.  And, it is important to think about it in that way, as a process.  Students will not learn everything overnight--there is terminology and lingo to learn and plenty to consider about who you are and where you learn best.  And, parents and guardians will soon realize that each child is different when it comes to the college process.  High school counselors at the event asked for some advice to share with families as they embarked on their journey.  Four areas came to mind, each with thoughts for students as well as parents:

Considering yourself

It is rare these days to really take a look at oneself, with a critical eye and change on the horizon, but that's part of what you get to do in the college process.  Think about how you learn best.  What topics, ideas, settings, questions, experiences get you excited?  Consider what kind of learning and community gives you comfort and what may evoke discomfort (and will something in between be the way you will grow the most?)  Are you ready to take the leap away from home (and if so, how far might be too far?)  Do you know what you would like to study or whether structure or freedom appeal to you most?

Parents, your job here is to be both a reflection and a sounding board.  Listen carefully as your student begins to explore the unknown, avoid the temptation to guide too heavily or to take over, and be ready to reflect back what you hear, rather than tell what you know.  Parents, you may know them the best and what's good for them, but sometimes they may need to get there on their own.

Doing your research

Students often start with a list of colleges that are known (friends or parents or siblings attended, you are a fan of their athletics or other signature program, or they are simply the names talked about the most in your circles).  At many high schools, students consider what everyone agrees to be the "top" 50 or "top" 75 colleges.  In this scenario, "top" often means most selective, not necessarily "best" and certainly not "best for you."  Do yourself a favor and go beyond this "top" list and learn about other schools.  There's only nearly 3000 four-year colleges across the US and that's a plenty long list to pare down.

When you are developing your college list, use your resources (books like the Fiske Guide or the Insiders Guide and websites like the collegeboard.com or collegeview.com or petersons.com or princetonreview.com and others allow you to build lists and may even make suggestions).  Your resources should also include the human kind--talk to your counselors and teachers as you build your list.  Then treat this process like a class and do your homework.  Read the brochures and guidebooks.  Visit schools (even just local ones so you can see a sampling of the different types of schools out there).  Parents and students, keep an open mind and try to listen to your gut.  The "top" school on your final list may be one you had not heard about at the start of the process.

Being present and staying in the game

Over the years, we've seen students react in different ways to the college process.  Some are ready for it.  They have been on the launching pad since the start of high school and can't wait to get started.  Others are unsure.  After all, for many of you, big decisions are often made with significant or full reliance on parents or guardians.  Now, you're being told that you are in the driver's seat and that you need to take ownership.  (This is a great time to, again, remember that this is a process--if you follow this advice, you will know more about the schools you are considering and the process itself than anyone else in your circle by this time next year, including your family.)  Finally, some students try to hide from the process.  They let others take the lead or make big decisions.  They don't engage with their resources.  They wait until the last minute to write essays, submit applications, or even just to begin to care.  This strategy is not recommended.  (Again, thinking of this as a class or a big final research project is a good thing--get organized, set milestones, build a timeline, note deadlines, and keep an open mind.)

You can do this!

Discussing finances

For some, this is a significant factor.  For families with high need, financial aid may be central to the discussion in choosing the colleges on your list and making the decision about where you attend.  Learn about tools like the Net Price Calculator where you can get a sense of what you might be expected to pay.  And, learn the terminology:  need-blind and need-sensitive, need-based aid and merit-based aid, meeting demonstrated need and not.  Ask questions and attend financial aid nights at your school.  Be informed.

Even if finances may not seem to be as much of a factor in your process, it is still important to talk about how you will finance your education.  If you have siblings, will your choice affect theirs?  If you plan to attend graduate school, who will pay for that?  It's always better to have the conversation at the start of the process and go into your search with your eyes open and all important factors on the table.  If you do, you avoid the possibility of having to refuse an offer of admission near the end of the process, or even worse, having to take on significant debt in order to make it work.

Use the in-between to find where you match

Finding a match, as you might imagine, is part of all four areas.  Colleges use this term quite a bit as we think about the culture of our campuses and the types of students who find success within them--for us, many different students might be a good match. That's how we build a diverse community.  High school counselors and students use the term quite a bit as well, since students are building a list of colleges where they might see themselves.  Remember, though, you are half of the equation in a match.  You may end up with 5-7 colleges on your final list and you should see how you might be a good match at any one of them.  With good research, your "in-between" time will be well spent.